Resilience is a term used to describe one’s ability to cope with and achieve positive outcomes despite difficult or traumatic experiences.
When a child or young person is resilient, they can recover from setbacks and move forward in their lives more positively. This builds their confidence and helps them to feel more capable of managing difficulties next time they arise.
Resilience is not a personality trait that a child or individual does or does not possess. Instead, it is the result of several factors which interact to determine how a child responds to traumatic events, including biological, psychological, social, and cultural factors.
This article explores the significant impact that early trauma can have on a young person’s self-esteem and resilience and the importance of carers adopting strategies which aim to nurture both of these.
The Importance of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem refers to the overall sense of self-worth or personal value one has, and it is an important factor to consider when supporting young people to build resilience.
Having positive self-esteem can help shape a child’s beliefs about their own abilities and their place in the world.
A child or young person with positive self-esteem is often better able to cope with and move forward from difficulties, challenges and setbacks.
Conversely, children or young people with low self-esteem may struggle to cope with stressors, which can hinder their ability to thrive.
Childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on self-esteem. Traumatic experiences can lead to feelings of inadequacy, a lack of self-worth, and negative self-perceptions.
A child’s beliefs about themselves and their place in the world can impact their relationships, academic performance, and emotional development. Therefore, addressing trauma and fostering self-esteem is essential to helping children to build resilience.
How to Build Resilience in Children and Young People
Carers – including parents, foster carers, guardians, teachers, residential support staff and other supportive adults – play an instrumental role in fostering resilience in children and young people.
Build strong relationships:
Relationships are the foundation of a child’s resilience.
Strong, trusting relationships with nurturing adult caregivers help a child to feel safe, secure and cared for.
This provides them with the confidence and ability to explore their world, develop social and emotional skills, and provide the opportunity for them to learn from you and those around them how to manage difficult situations.
Acknowledge difficult feelings:
Self-awareness is an important part of building resilience.
Rather than telling a child it isn’t so bad or that they shouldn’t feel hurt or upset, we should help children to recognise and talk about their feelings.
Offer support and validation:
It can be easy to feel like we need to find a solution or fix a problem to help a child feel better. However, it can often be much more helpful to validate their feelings and support them to sit with the difficult feelings they are experiencing.
Learning to ride the waves of big emotions is an important skill that can help children learn that they can cope.
Talk openly about strengths:
Helping children and young people to see and understand their strengths and how these have helped them to overcome challenges in the past can help them to feel more confident in their ability to manage difficulties in the future.
Support and encourage problem-solving:
As mentioned, it can be tempting to fix or solve problems when we care about a young person who is experiencing difficulty.
However, it is much more beneficial to use the opportunity to validate the young person’s feelings and, once they are regulated and ready, help them to develop problem-solving skills.
Rather than solving the problem for them, we can encourage them to consider possible solutions and think critically about them. This way, we can help build their confidence in managing similar problems in the future.
How to Support Children Through Building Self Esteem
Building self-esteem in children and young people is essential for fostering resilience. Here are some strategies that can help:
Celebrate efforts and achievements:
When children are recognised for their efforts and achievements, it helps them to see themselves as valued and capable.
Recognising efforts rather than just outcomes can help children learn that sometimes failure is a part of the learning process.
This helps them to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than as a threat to their self-esteem. As a result, they are likely to be more willing to take risks and try new things.
Encourage new experiences:
Trying new things can help children to uncover interests and talents. This self-discovery can boost self-esteem as they learn more about their unique strengths.
New experiences can also help children learn to handle uncertainty and the discomfort that can arise when trying something new and unfamiliar.
When they succeed, it boosts their confidence and reinforces the belief that they can handle challenges.
Encourage independence at an appropriate pace:
Developing a sense of independence and autonomy can help young people develop confidence in their ability to make choices and take responsibility for their actions.
When young people experience trauma and attachment disruptions, they can often experience feelings of abandonment. For this reason, it is important that support is carefully planned and that they continue to receive high levels of nurture as they progress towards independence.
Set realistic goals:
Setting small, achievable goals or breaking bigger goals down into smaller, more manageable tasks allows for the small victories to be celebrated and positive progress to be tracked and reflected upon, all of which helps to build a more positive self-esteem.
Support connection with positive, like-minded others:
Being part of a group or community of people who share similar interests or experiences fosters a sense of belonging.
Feeling like they belong, children and young people feel accepted and valued by peers, which enhances self-esteem and counters negative self-perceptions.
Friendships can also help reduce loneliness, provide opportunities for social skill development, and provide opportunities for shared experiences and achievements.
Provide opportunities for choice:
Allowing children to make decisions helps to empower them and fosters a sense of autonomy.
Providing opportunities for choice and decision-making allows children and young people to learn from their experiences and develop confidence in their own ability to navigate challenges.
How Meadows Psychology Service Can Help
Building resilience in children and young people is pivotal for their emotional health and development.
By adopting therapeutic approaches and evidence-based strategies, carers can play a significant part in nurturing resilient young people.
At Meadows Psychology Service, we are dedicated to collaborating with organisations to create supportive environments in which all children and young people can thrive.
We provide a range of therapeutic services to support carers in the following environments:
We provide these therapeutic services with the aim to build safe and supportive environments which help build resilience for children and young people who have experienced trauma and early attachment disruptions.
To find out more about how Meadows Psychology Service can support your organisation, get in touch today.
